From Chaos to Calm

by THECarynW | Nov 2, 2023

Imagine that life was NOT a roller coaster of ups and downs and ongoing chaos. That every day you woke up with a smile on your face and a deep sense of calm and peace within you. Can you imagine this reality where chaos has given way to calm? How would you feel?

Reality is that life is a roller coaster and as such, it’s easy to find ourselves trapped in chaos – a place where control slips through your fingers, where everything feels hard, where you were previously not afraid, but now fear lurks in the shadows, and the weight of overwhelm and stress bears down heavily.

However, I want to share with you that there exists a path from chaos to this place of calm, to a place where clarity reigns, awareness guides, leadership empowers, and even money finds its rightful place.

In this blog I would like to invite you into the transformative journey from chaos to calm, where I will share with you how life coaching can serve as your compass, helping you navigate the turbulent waters of life towards the serene shores within.

How do you define chaos?

Is it 100% negative? I admit that there have been many times that I have thrived on the chaos around me. Where I have allowed chaos to become a part of my life to the point that I didn’t know any differently. If something went wrong, I would move on and try something new.

This pattern continued for many years until the “something new” didn’t help anymore, when something went wrong, more things seemed to go wrong. I was no longer thriving in the Chaos, I was trying to survive.

This is my definition of chaos:

Let me elaborate…

Controlling: One of the scariest things one can do is let go of control and embrace the uncertainty. The what if’s can be overwhelming and keep you stuck in a place that you don’t want to be. Even when you take a step forward, it can feel like two steps back.

Hard: Life can feel hard at times, but when it feels hard all the time, it leads to increased stress levels, exhaustion, and lack of motivation. The impact on your overall health and wellbeing is devastating when nothing changes.

Afraid: Being afraid is wired into our human DNA; we accept this as part of our evolution. But it can be incredibly frustrating when you find yourself constantly consumed and paralyzed by fears that prevent you from achieving what you want.

Overwhelmed: Feeling overwhelmed isn’t just a phrase to use as an excuse for not doing something; it is real. When left unchecked, increased feelings of overwhelm will negatively impact your ability to take actions, remain resilient, and cope.

Stressed: We have the ability to manage stress, but there comes a point when we don’t. However, often at ‘that’ point, we no longer have the capacity to notice the impact on ourselves. This is where it becomes more about surviving versus thriving.

With this definition in mind of chaos in mind, consider what do you seek when you are in this state of chaos? Maybe you don’t want to escape? Is it easier to stay where you are? Are you feeling you have no choice? If even for a moment you were able to move from chaos to calm, what would that look like? How would that feel for you?

Navigating from Chaos to Calm

Redefining Calm

Clarity: It is like wiping away the dust from a mirror and truly seeing yourself. Having clarity provides the focus to set the right intentions for you, to find a sense of purpose as you take off in the right direction on your journey with confidence.

Awareness: Building an awareness of self is like finding the pieces of your life puzzle that are ready to be connected. We have multiple layers to unpack, but as we do, this foundation will support you on your journey always. It is truly magical.

Leadership: It’s not just about being the C.E.O of your life; this is more. It is about creating a solid framework for continued personal growth; you are empowered, you hold yourself accountable, you inspire not just yourself but others too.

Money: Understanding our relationship with money and how it is integrated into our values and life is an important part of your journey to find CALM. Once you know, we can heal it to recognize it is a tool, not something that controls us.

How life coaching becomes your compass to navigate from chaos to calm

In the hands of a skilled life coach, chaos becomes a mere stepping stone on your path to calm. Embracing the chaos, understanding its facets, and learning how to transform it into clarity, awareness, leadership, and a healthy relationship with money, marks the evolution from a life dictated by uncertainty and fear to one led by purpose and serenity.

So, if you find yourself amidst chaos, remember, there is a way out. With the right guidance and determination, you can transform the controlling into the empowering, the hard into the transformative, the afraid into the courageous, the overwhelmed into the resilient, and the stressed into the thriving. Let the journey from chaos to calm begin today.

Connect with me caryn@carynwhite.com or schedule a call on the link below.

Caryn White – Certified Jay Shetty Life Coach
“I envision a world where we wake up every day
feeling we belong, feeling we are loved & knowing
we have a voice”

I help 35+ Professional Women to live their life’s purpose with passion and calm. Find calm…stop chasing it.
Schedule a free 30 min Chemistry Call Here

Unlocking The Past To Transform The Future – Limiting Beliefs

by THECarynW | Oct 8, 2023

“Negative limiting beliefs have the power to restrict you, but you can take that power back”

Do you know what beliefs are stopping you from creating the life you truly want? Are your behaviours sabotaging you, and no matter how many times you try to stop them, the outcome ends up being the same or similar – little or no progress? Although you try to be more disciplined and push through, it is getting harder and harder to do so.

In this blog, I share with you a vivid memory that surfaced from 40+ years ago, that I now recognise as being a key moment where beliefs that limit my growth now, were formed. I share with you an empowering 4-step exercise that you can action now to unpack what is going on so that you can let the limiting beliefs go versus putting a “band-aid” on for them to only surface later.

When I was 8, I moved to a country town in the upper north of the North Island of New Zealand.

At the time, we had been living in what I would call a decent-sized town (5+ hours drive) surrounded by neighbours.

I still remember arriving at what would become my home until I finished high school and not to sound cliché – being a New Zealander – but it was on a farm.

The smell of cow poo was overwhelming, however our home was a great size and the view of the countryside and ocean in the distance was pretty spectacular.

A few days after arriving, we visited the local school. There were 100 kids total from age 5 through 10. 1 class for each year level.

A day or so later we started school.

Previously I walked or rode my bike to school.

Now we had to take the school bus – the school was over 10 kilometres (km) away, our driveway alone was at least 1 km long.

On the bus my brother and two older sisters seemed to find people their age – I didn’t.

Upon arriving at school I knew where to go, but I still had 15 or so minutes to kill time until the first bell rang.

Alone, I dropped my bag outside my class and I proceeded to walk a “loop”
1. Down the corridor past all the classrooms
2. Down the steps to the outside
3. Back along by the classrooms
4. Upstairs back into the corridor

Until the bell rang.

I recall I did the “loop” at least 3 times.
I could feel people staring at me. (remember it was a small school, with my siblings and myself joining, the school students increased by 4% that day)
With my head hung low, I tried not to make eye contact.

I can recall telling myself to just keep walking, all would be okay once the bell rang. “I don’t need friends” “Noone wants to be friends with me, my brother and sisters are better friends than me” “People probably think I look weird, why can’t I fit in?”

No one said anything. I don’t think they had time to. At this moment I wanted to be invisible. I wanted the day to be over.

Once the bell rang, we lined up. An older girl came to me and asked what class I was in (remember only 1 class per year at the school) she kindly introduced me to a girl next to her who was my age. She became my buddy.

WHY AM I SHARING THIS PARTICULAR MEMORY?

In these moments, unconscious to me, certain limiting beliefs were formed and some were given more evidence to support them.

Limiting beliefs are those beliefs that restrict and often stop us from doing something we really want to do (they fuel the annoying thoughts in our head) . They are formed by something happening in our life and at that time we have made up a story of the why and the what. From that point on we live our lives believing this is true as we believe we will then be safe.

The fact that 40 years later I can still remember the emotion, I can still feel the feelings and the loneliness, shows me that although I am not that 8 year old anymore in biological age, there is a part of me that still is.

This part of me shows up unconsciously, believing I need protection.

I am grateful that through my own personal growth journey I am now questioning each belief as I become aware of them asking the question:

“Is this belief real now? Do I still need to be protected?”

“What is the underlying need driving this behaviour?”

WHAT WAS MY UNDERLYING UNMET NEED?

For this reflection if you were to ask me, what was my need?
My answer is, I needed to feel that I belonged, that I was worthy to be
someone’s friend. That I am enough.

WHAT YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW

1. Pause and reflect right now after reading this and write down in your
phone, in your journal/notebook what came up for you. Allow it all to
come, the thoughts, the images, the emotion, the feelings. No
judgement.

2. Now DOWNLOAD this helpful 4 step exercise that I use with clients
and myself to help you to not just notice the belief but think about
the behaviour that is or isn’t happening linked to this negative belief.
Reflect on the negative emotions associated with it and more
importantly the need below all of this that is driving it all.

I would love to hear your thoughts and reflections on this topic, please
email me caryn@carynwhite.com

“If you accept the limiting belief, it will become the truth for you”
Louise Hay